Category: Uncategorized

It was supposed to be my last day working here but now I have two more weeks.  I’m glad actually because I’m going to miss my little work space and all the lovely people that visit.

I’m not too sure what to do with the house now, there’s little piles of stuff everywhere and I don’t know whether to put it all back where it came from or pack it in boxes to store, its a bit frustrating being in limbo waiting for something to happen, not to mention the assault course necessary to get from one room to the other.  To make matters worse the chief recipient of my moaning has gone on holiday and I haven’t got anyone to complain to!  (I hope she’s having fun and resting because I have so very much to say when she gets back)

The garden is empty and so tidy it looks like we’ve gone already, the house looks like it’s been searched by burglars, roll on moving date.  All of this yearning for a future date goes against my ‘enjoy every day’ policy!

I put washing on the line today. It’s a bit odd to find such a simple thing so very exciting, what it actually signifies is the official end of winter  and the trust that the weather will stay fine for the length of time it takes to dry the clothes.

Now I’m faced with a two hour lunch break where I’m forced to choose between cleaning the bathrooms and mowing the lawn. The latter simply an excuse to be outside.  Unfortunately I decided not to do any housework two weeks ago because we were moving and now the whole house is a health hazard, everyone having followed suit.  Obviously I will ensure that the whole place sparkles before we leave just in case the new people think I’m a slattern.  Maybe I can organise a cleaning rota for friends in exchange for holiday credits when we finally go!

Lucky will have to mow the lawn, I don’t trust him with the bathroom.  Oh yes his job only lasted three days, I wanted to march him down to the job centre but apparently there’s no such thing anymore, you just put your CV on the internet and a job magically appears.

It’s nearly three quarters of the way through Friday and we still haven’t exchanged contracts.  Patience is a virtue, but not one of mine at the moment.

 

Arrangements were made for today, it was to be a day of transporting our home to a storage unit.  The sun was shining, the van  booked and the house almost  packed.  Well none of that happened.  Sunny had to go back to the vet for some more antibiotics, delaying his rabies jab and we won’t be moving out until the end of April.

So we went out to lunch instead, sat in the sunshine by the river and drank beer, well, I had coffee because it was the day time. (I would have needed a postprandial nap and it was hair cutting at the soup kitchen night so I had to stay awake!) Still we were able to make and change plans, imagine where we’d be this time next year (which may be here at this rate) and moan about how difficult it is to sell a house in the UK.

I’m ever hopeful for an exchange of contracts tomorrow.

I am reliably informed that moving house is one of the most stressful things we do in our lives, well today I was told that yet again we won’t be moving any time soon – we still haven’t exchanged contracts and now someone wants to delay it even longer, so my day of lasts wasn’t and I’ll have to unpack again.

I was ready to murder someone or at least raise my voice slightly but then I spent the evening with some lovely people from the soup kitchen and, after hearing the drunken ramblings of one of our fabulous friends about the state of virginity of a 35 year old friend of his and how he was helping to cure this problem,  I was suitably cheered up, I’m going to have to stay professional tomorrow if he wants his hair done!

Went back on my diet today so all round was not a good day to piss me off….

I didn’t sleep much last night,  I found myself on the cusp of a change of mind.  Am I really going to leave my offspring to fend for themselves? I’ve taught them most of the essentials, they can swim, light a fire, cook an egg, read, understand the fundamentals of politics and religion, argue constructively, pay a bill, hold down a job, follow a dream and so on.  But am I ready?

Clearly I need another glass of wine and I need  to stop carefully wrapping and storing every misshapen piece of clay, handprint painting and mothers day card given to me with sticky hands, innocence and love. I must gird my loins, call the solicitor and find out why we haven’t exchanged contracts yet.

N.B.

Send email to said offspring explaining that anything left on the floor on  Friday will go to the tip.

 

Today was a day of lasts;   last time to change the beds (here I mean, not ever)  Last time Tinkerbelle and I played hairdressers in the studio, last time using the oven, last weekend in this house.

Quite frankly I feel a little overwhelmed by the enormity of what we are doing, I know that I will look back with rose tinted spectacles having forgotten the utter chaos of five people with totally different priorities sorting out thirty two years of life.   Each personality can be defined by what they have packed and what they are leaving behind; Lucky is taking his computer, lovingly boxed and organised but hasn’t really bothered with his clothes, thing two is  following the same packing process he used when he went to NZ for a year – three boxes of tools and a pair of pants in a backpack.   I’ve packed my books and vacuum packed my summer clothes ready for departure, this time next week we will be staying with our Fairy Godmother while we wait for sales to complete.

We are about to eat supper but the lovely ‘A’ packed all the plates and left us one each for daily use this week but my partner in crime has broken one so we shall eat in shifts for the duration.

 

Everybody ate their eggs on Friday when I brought them back from the shops so there was no bunny this morning hiding them in the garden.  This proves that it is time for me to go!  Third child Lucky wasn’t too old for a romp through the forest and a picnic with our totally recovered dog and our lovely family!  A happy Easter all round and no packing or agents today thankfully.

Packing started for real today, our lovely ‘A’ came to help me because we were all working and he has beautifully packed the kitchen and dining room into boxes, sealed and stacked them ready to take to store.  I asked if he had written on them and he replied ‘Yeah, some’.  Unpacking will be interesting!

It’s very distracting going through your belongings, everything is looked at and discussed and everything has a memory.  Do we keep the tea sets from our grandmothers?  We’ve never used them but they’re very pretty.  Oh well I’ll find out whether we kept them when I unpack and find out what was packed in which box.

The dog has been ill  and has been laying on the sofa moaning and groaning convincing everybody he’s terminal for the last few days,  bearded nephew was here with his dog,  we suggested a walk, Sunshine heard the word and made an actual miraculous recovery leaping up and jumping about like a spring lamb – I’ll never believe him again.

We’re going on a picnic tomorrow and it’s been raining for what seems like the last month.  I think I’ll wear my thermals, roll on spring you’re running late!

I feel that at this juncture it is only fair that I explain the reason for writing this journal and the spelling of the title.

When we decided to sell our family home  we had nowhere to go and no clue what we were doing or why, simply an amorphous idea that things could be different.  As time went on proposals were put forward and a plan was formulated, however,  remembering why you made particular decisions is sometimes difficult;  my Darling Dad has dementia and I wish I could remember everything for him but I can’t, so to ensure that I never forget what we are doing and why I thought I’d write it down.

With regard to the title, I wanted to call it a serious midlife crisis but  all the midlife crisis (singular and plural) web names were taken,  so I used a phonetic spelling which only works in the plural, which, considering my motto of;  people only take notice if you get it wrong, seemed entirely appropriate.  Thus appeared a ‘series of midlife crices’.

On a personal note, ten days into spring and I have hay fever…

Decided to tackle the larder today, I like to think that I organise it every six months but in reality some of the stuff at the back had been there since we last decorated.   It is really strange some of the things that we buy, they look like a good idea in the shop but we never know what to do with them when we get them home.  Why did I think I needed  seven different types of paprika?  We are going to have to eat everything in the freezer and all the tins before we go – I’m not sure what I will be cooking with six cans of chickpeas, four cans of black beans, pineapple chunks and some  coconut milk.

As a bit of a bonus I found lots of half empty bottles of alcohol and in the spirit of not wasting anything, (I do like to care for the environment)  I shall do my very best to finish them all over this weekend, I’m pretty sure they’ll all be in date, and since child one left home, not watered down.